Friday, October 07, 2005

More trendy pick-ups

I know you’ve been awaiting another of my celebrated single stories, dear reader(s) (I added the “s” because I’m an optimistic, sunny, smiling person), so wait no more.

Workin’ at the Car Wash (Come on y’all and sing it with me)
Back in the days I like to refer to as “The Golden Era”, I had a car, a job and lived in San Francisco. I was on my out of the city one day – in my CAR (I like saying that now that I don’t have one) - so I hit the Shell station near Glen Park before I got on 280. I filled up (because gas was under $3 then) and was rewarded with the beloved free car wash. I drive to the car wash lane and am about to input my super secret free car wash code when a gentleman wearing a Shell cap and shirt with the name “Rod” (I’m not making that up, Christian) pops in front of the machine. The convo goes something like this:

Rod: Hi there! Can I help you?
Me: No thanks, I’m just, you know…putting my code in to wash my car.
Rod: Really? Where ya on your way to?
Me: Target.
Rod: What? You’re not going to see your boyfriend?
Intermission: Why is there a certain percentage of men who like to segway with an ill-timed boyfriend comment? Anyone?
Me: No, no. Just going to Target.
Rod: Where do you live?
Me: Pacific Heights.
Pesky Inner Voice: Why am I telling the car wash code man where I live?
Rod: Really? We should have dinner at Harry’s on Fillmore sometime. Yeah! Let’s do that! Why don’t you let me buy you dinner at Harry’s- that’ll be cool!
Pesky Inner Voice: Drive away! Say “no thanks” roll up your window and drive away!
Me: Ummm…
Pesky Inner voice: This is not the time to be nice!
Pesky Inner voice 2: But he controls the CODES! He could put the smack-down on Aggie! (my silver civic)
Rod: Ok, I understand that you maybe don’t feel comfortable saying yes right now so let’s do this. I’m off on Wednesdays so just meet me at Harry’s on Wednesday night!
Me: Actually, I have a boyfriend so..
Rod: You just said you were going to Target and NOT your boyfriend's house. Oh well, that’s OK – meet me there! I’ll buy! It’ll be fun! My name’s Rod by the way! (and yes, he was speaking in exclamation mark-ese).

Fast forward about a month. I go through the Shell Car Wash again, taking care to note that it’s WEDNESDAY. But guess who’s there? That’s right.
Rod: Hey, I never saw you at Harry’s.
Pesky Inner Voice: DRIVE!!!

And the moral of this story is: if you want a free dinner at Harry’s, go to the Shell Station near 280, fill up and go through the car wash. Dab on some extra lip gloss. Rod likes 'em shiny.

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:42 AM  
Anonymous crazyvirgo said...

TO be acrumb on the seat in your car! I would have died. So glad to hear that you took Aggie's feelings into consideration and were ready to bang the shit out of Rod if necessary to get your car clean. If only more people babied their car like that.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's with the deleted posts? Inquiring minds want to know. Speaking of which, do you have a boyfriend? See you at Harry's, we can talk about it there.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, do you remember the code. I'm willing to try it out.

Anyway, why don't you have a car anymore?

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Guy from Wisconsin. said...

So, do you remember the code. I'm willing to try it out.

Anyway, why don't you have a car anymore?

9:56 AM  
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