The new shirtcocking?

Many of you may remember my friend Crazy Virgo’s little issue with shirtcocking. Well, here’s a new one, though, I think someone needs to give it a better word because frankly I’m still a little too shaken from my experience and am in no mood for naming.

I’ve just been bus-humped. I was on either the 47 or 49 heading up Van Ness, the bus is completely full, so I’m standing. I’m in front of one of those glorious one-seaters, minding my own damn business, looking out the window when a large man comes up and stands behind me, his front pressed into my back. I tried to move but there was nowhere to go. Suddenly, he’s moving – nay- GRINDING himself into me. And this is not a good grinding. I’m…uncomfortable to say the least. So I turn my head around, intending to look mean, then see that he’s a very large man, much taller than me (and I’m pretty tall) and I manage to muster up “um, EXCUSE me?” (yes, with a question mark at the end because I’m all of a sudden not so sure if I want to be all sassy with this man). He laughs. Then grinds slower. Apparently, the feedback from his other bus lovers has been “slower movement”. I de-boarded at the next stop. Ick.

So was I bus-humped? Or bus-grinded (ground?)? Is there an 800 # for this?