"What's up with the quotes?"
“Excess consumption may have a laxative effect.”
Now, aside from my initial shock and delight at the possibility that cinnamon hard candy could actually replace my Fiber One cereal and Ryvyta crackers, I was confused as to why this statement needed to be in quotes. Did someone famous say this? George Washington? Mary Kate Olsen? Calista Flockhart? Was the nutrition-label-typist-person just so embarrassed at the mere mention of anything having to do with (shhhh) bowel movements that they had to put it in quotations so that no one would mistake this for a first person statement?
I can almost hear the inner dialogue now of Bertha, in Chattanooga, Tennessee (where my Brach’s candies were manufactured): “Ain’t no way I’m puttin’ nothin’ havin’ to do with shit on the back of this bag.” Maybe Bertha is afraid that her friends over in Monteagle, Tennessee, knowing that she is ultimately responsible for what goes on the back of that Brach’s sugar free cinnamon hard candy bag, will read it and give her shit for having to type something about bathroom habits? I just don’t know.
Why, why, WHY? Do people put things in quotes that don’t need to be in quotes? Does it drive anyone else crazy but me? When I’m reading a menu and I see “The best pancakes in town…guaranteed!” I want to know exactly who is making this guarantee.
It’s even worse when quotes are used for things that aren’t even interesting, like “Since 1959.” That’s not even a complete sentence. And it’s not interesting. And who cares? And who said it?
If there’s a reason for these random quotes, someone….please enlighten me.
“Bringing you quality ranting since 2005.”